im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
