i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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