i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
