You're completely useless in the revolution.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
