after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
