wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
no you cant smoke seaweed
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
