I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize