He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
