Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
