At least make sure they are 18
Why
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
