i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I puked a lego.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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