This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
