It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize