Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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