Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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