even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize