How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
