so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
