Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
