I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize