I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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