He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
