Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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