I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
