I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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