So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize