doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
