butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
