I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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