Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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