i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
