walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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