talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
