Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Randomize
