so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
