Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize