when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
