my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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