i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
