Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
