Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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