remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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