There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
