woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she told me i tasted like america
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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