It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
4 words: hood of his car
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
