Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
