We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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