um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
