your room smells of hookers.
And success
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
