we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
50% drunk capacity currently
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
