So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
