Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
