I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
well most of my day revolves around power hour
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
