So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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