Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
