I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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