the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
