In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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