Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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