this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
