It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
