Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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